It's true.
The planning. The fear that I won't get everything done in time... or will run out of money (weddings are crazy expensive, ya'll! .... Did I just say 'ya'll'? What's wrong with me?). The disappointment that I'm not in better shape. Worrying about forgetting someone on the guest list or offending someone because of a song we pick to dance to or the food we decide on or my dress or the details or about a million other things.
The constant barrage of questions and opinions (even though I know they are well-meant!).
It's ridiculous.
And yet, I'm staying (mostly) sane. I have this amazing man by my side that keeps saying "I'm here for you. Whatever you need." And he does helpful things like installing curtain rods and picking up pho and reminding me to breathe. <3 I am so looking forward to marrying Jay. He makes me ridiculously happy.
I'm excited... I just wish that I was better at pushing the anxiety down. I always assumed I would be, because I've been gathering ideas for my wedding for years. I carefully crafted a game plan and itinerary. And now it just feels like everything is spiraling out of my control... and it's become more an issue of "what can we do for the least amount of money in the least amount of time". We are battling a lengthy to-do list.
But, I know that it will be okay. I know that when it's all done and we are heading to our honeymoon, I'll probably say "Hey, that wasn't that bad!"
In the meantime though, please please please bear with me. If I flake out on plans... if I am not available to do something... if I forget to call or email you back...if you make a suggestion and I don't use it.... please understand that I'm just trying to do what I can to make our wedding day 'ours' and keep myself from falling apart.
With love,
Jenna
<3 hang in there, sugar!
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